Thursday, June 11, 2009

Save the Queen!

I've been seeing quite a lot of ads for browser-based strategy game Evony on Metacritic and various other websites. Here's the main ad they run on most pages:

Right, I know what you're all thinking: the letter "Y" is threatening that woman's cleavage, and I must help her out!

I know that sex sells, and that there is no shortage of CGI artists on the internet churning out images of fantasy women in revealing tops, but the focus of the ad still seems somewhat inappropriate.

At least it is free forever, so in 2046, when micropayments are so rife that we can't even click on a hyperlink without the credit card implanted in our skull deducting a small fee, you'll still be able to save that woman's bosom without charge.

Anyway, clicking on the "Play Now" button takes you to a sign-up screen, complete with one of three images.

Are you strong enough to Rule the only two hot chicks at the renaissance fair? They aren't stopping there, though:

This woman wants you to be TOUGH in the hopes of CONQUERING her. Or perhaps Bohemia, Burgundy, or Franconia. It's not really clear. But the best one is still coming:

This lady is positively yearning for you to play now. If she yearns any harder, her dress, which already seems to be secured only by static cling, is going to fall off completely.

Interestingly enough, none of these sign-up screens actually give you any inclination as to what the actual game looks like. However, if you go to the game's informative and bosom-free website, you can discover that it looks like this:

It does have a girl in the status window, but that appears to be your avatar and it seems unlikely that she will gradually disrobe as you grow more corn or harvest more lumber or mine more gold or whatever it is that you do in the game.

You could argue that without the buxom ladies I would never have even clicked on their ad, so the strategy is at least somewhat sound, but they didn't make me want to sign up and play the game, which I guessed correctly would be a browser-based strategy game when I saw the first ad. In fact, the only reason I clicked on the ads was from sheer incredulity at the ad campaign. Had I actually been wanting to play a browser-based strategy game, a few gameplay related screens, like those that Travian runs on its web ads, would have been perfectly sufficient.

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